The decision of living without this desire
Addiction of the worst just to survive
Just to be normal and live everyday
To destroy the stress and the tension in the most simple way

Life was so easy and nothing came close
If you felt it was slipping you just up the dose
But everything that goes up must one day fall hard
Feelings take your mind that you once did disregard

You have to make a choice to live as you’re meant
To take back your mind and body at all costs
But to do this you know the suffering must be spent
For days and your sanity will temporary be lost

Then the pain starts to take you
Your mind goes to mush
Your insides are screaming
For the love of a push

To be out of your misery, just to fall from this life
No more bloody agony, no more screaming inside
To kill all the frustration and numb all the strife
But to be back to normal this pain you abide

So first you start breathing at an unhealthy rate
Your eyes don’t stop steaming and skins is on fire
You think it’s only a week if you just concentrate
Your Serotonin release which make you higher and higher

How wrong could you be it helps none to say the least
Just thinking it’s easy was the worst thing you could do
As your white blood cells double your bacteria has a feast
And body heats up like you have the worst flu

Every sensation has tripled so sensitive to touch
Cells shredding from organs leaves your body in shivers
Metabolism speeds, the cramps are too much
And your fluids are expelling in streams and in rivers

24 hours oh time is so slow
Only four more days you know you have to go

Can you keep this going, just a few more days?
Or will you slip back into habit to make it all go away

Day two is even worse the cramps are so bad
The thing you thought would be easy has now turned real bad
But you can't turn back now your half way there
But you feel what’s the point as in your mind nobody cares

The third day is the beginning of hell in your mind
To make sense of the feeling no reason you can find

Your flesh is screaming it needs to be supplied
Begging and beating as you family hears you cry

They can’t help you now there's nothing to do
Your face in a basin or your ass on a loo
Can’t stand up straight the pain takes its grip
Trying to absorb fluid but can't take a sip

Sleepless night of turning and kicking
Involuntary movements and chest so restricting

Three days of no sleep and living in hell
Only a few more to go then you should be able to tell

That you’re going to get better the worst has now gone
How wrong was that thought, high hopes have gone wrong

The forth days the worst thing you will ever go through
You batter at the door till your hand have gone blue

You’ve lost five kilos and you look like a corpse
Your mind so unstable everything is warped
Laying there in spasm's and fits on the bed
Every bad memory spinning around ten times in your head

You’re so so tired and nothing to do
But you keep fixated this is the right thing for you
Because tomorrow will be different you return to be sane
And the feelings will go and no longer the pain

The pain dies down as you start to come round
You’re still sweating badly and soaked all around

The place where you lie is the worst place to be
So un healthy and horrid you have to be free

Of the stench and the fluids of the last few day
Open the curtain and see the sun shining rays

The blinding light goes through your pupils to your head
As pupils dilated the blindness you shed

The worst is now over but you still don't feel right
It’s so hard to remember why you wanted this fight

But your winning now you can't dare to go back
Soon this will all be memory on file to stack

I can't go on as I’m not at that stage
But I will be for sure on that place a wage

As I'm stronger than most and will continue to be
The true shining light in my life that can set me free is Me.