literature

The real world................

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Melanie-H-H's avatar
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Literature Text

           The real world................

The real world don't care if your broke
The real world don't care if you choke
The real world will leave you to die
The real world will  not tell you why

The  real world is only a game
The real world wants to hurt and to maim
The real  world  will keep you in denial
The  real world will lie with a smile

The  real world has nobody's back
The  real world is not real thats a fact.
Feel free to NOTE me on any grammar or spelling mistakes.
I am always willing to learn.
© 2013 - 2024 Melanie-H-H
Comments28
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DavyWagnarok's avatar
:star::star::star::star::star-empty: Overall
:star::star::star::star::star-half: Vision
:star::star::star::star-half::star-empty: Originality
:star::star::star::star::star-empty: Technique
:star::star::star::star::star-empty: Impact

The only part of this I didn't care for was the punchline at the end. Even though I dig the simile, there's something about it rhyming too that makes me feel like it was injected at the end to sound cool. Not that you're a poser!!! For instance, I did the same thing in a poem I just wrote and I had to step back and admit to myself that I was only trying to show off. But what can I say? I can't read your mind, girl! That's just the impression I got.

Any rate, I like the vision of this piece and I couldn't agree more with the message. Once again, you go straight to the point without any bullshit filler. It's honest and heartfelt and who doesn't feel this way from time to time.

Actually, it's just a truism. The world will fucking bury you if you let it. *_*